Just had a "Ladder of Inference" moment... I know everyone creates their own "picture of meaning" in their minds, but when it's YOUR picture, sometimes, you can't help but think everyone sees it your way! We all take in facts and data selectively, and add our own meaning and assumptions about those facts. And our conclusions form our beliefs, and then we ACT on those beliefs. And the beliefs, of course, affect what facts we take in next time. So, "I don't see what I don't see!" Right?
When someone left me a message today, they said the recommendation was "inappropriate" for the situation. My meaning of the word inappropriate is not proper or wrong. Eew. I didn't like how that made me feel. What did I do wrong? What did I miss? What did I say that they didn't like? Am I not enough?
And when I talked with the person about the issue, I realized it had NOTHING to do with me. This person had misunderstood the request from his client, and the recommendation simply didn't fit and wasn't what was needed. Now my ah-ha certainly isn't around the definition of words, or how they differ from person to person. It's the realization (continuous!) that we make assumptions, create our own meaning and ACT on our beliefs without fully checking in for understanding all of the time.
So, let me have a daily mantra, please, "It's not all about me."
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