I didn't like the name of the book, "Fierce Conversations" when I first read it - when I think of fierce, I think of aggressiveness, or a pitt bull. And I generally don't like aggressiveness or pitt bulls. Of course, the author frames fierce as showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity. Now that I like.
One of the lines which keeps circulating in my brain is the idea that all confrontation is a SEARCH for truth. Who owns the truth? Each of us owns a piece of it, and nobody owns all of it. In a confrontation, I am truly asking someone to describe reality from his or her point of view. That feels much safer to me. And when two people are engaged in that spirit, such conversation will indeed enrich relationships.
Do I want to change my relationships? Yes. Then I will change my conversations.
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